You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
