I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
