I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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