nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
