i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
