One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
