okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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