Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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