I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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