i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
