If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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