it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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