Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
