I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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