yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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