i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
