You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
