Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize