Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
