a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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