Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
