i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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