a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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