I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
