she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
