Dual....:-)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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