I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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