How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
