Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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