I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
