no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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