I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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