I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
