I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
