oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
