last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
