Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
