I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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