he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
