Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
