The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
