I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
