***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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