he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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