Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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