You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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