i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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