Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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