I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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