Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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