She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were trust falling into bushes
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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