someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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