All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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