I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
