have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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