She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
