I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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