he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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