it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
