My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize