i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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