Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
