My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
