Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
