I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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