Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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