community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
where does the pee come out of this thing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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