In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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