Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
